Why is that we can never express ourselves clearly?
Why is it that we have to hide all the emotions under a cloak and pretend that nothing is there?
Why have we humans come to a world where there is no value for feelings if they have no consequence?
Why is it that every feeling should have some significance attached to it?
Why can’t we have feelings which may not give us any benefits?
Have we become so materialistic?
Are we supposed to have only those relations that benefit us?
Are we not supposed to have any relations which have no consequence whatsoever?
Why have we humans made relations so complicated?
Why do we define boundaries to them?
Why do we bind them into some specific limits like sister brother, husband wife; for that matter a relation between a husband and wife can be as multi-faceted as possible, but why is it that all other relations are so narrow?
Why is it that men and women can have relations confined to only these few names?
Why cant people co-exist just because they feel good with each other; in this world when there is so much less time to even venture out and meet people there is a very less chance of meeting people who have at least somewhere similar thoughts, so why is it that when we see such people, we still keep away from them. They should be treasured. These are like once in a life time opportunity…never let them go…hold on to them…but unfortunately we cannot..this world so full of filth, emotions so pure can be mistaken…
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
A futile attempt: Writing a poem
Those eyes..those beautiful eyes look at me..
When they gaze at me, I get mesmerized..
I wonder, if they read what I am thinking..
I wonder, if they read what goes through my mind..
I wonder, if they see how much I miss them..
I wonder, if this is just a mere fantasy..
When they gaze at me, I get mesmerized..
I wonder, if they read what I am thinking..
I wonder, if they read what goes through my mind..
I wonder, if they see how much I miss them..
I wonder, if this is just a mere fantasy..
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
The pseudo-stronger weaker sex…
My constant association with guys, since I am in a profession, which is at least till now dominated by men, prompted me to write this article. Really, we talk about women emancipation and all that crap but where are we really? Please do not shrug away from this article thinking it is another feminist blog. I just want to speak out what I have been thinking about for the past couple of months or years, for that matter.
Who are we? We are a breed of species that neither belong to the stronger sex called “MEN” or the real feminine or the so called weaker (I despise the word, alas!!) sex called “WOMEN”. We are a totally new evolved species called the Professional women. Now god only knows what kind of species are these.
Well, in my undergrad class of 84 students, we were only 7 girls and you might think that with that kind of minority there must be a pretty good demand for us. No, you are wrong! Apparently, according to my “male” classmates, there were only two types of humans in our class. One was the male species (of course!!) and the others were the “non-males” and no females at all. So that was rude, but it didn’t really matter at that time, since we all were in the same boat that sometimes used to tend to sink academically, and all we cared, at that time, was to keep the boat floating.
Anyways, during all this weird growing up period, I don’t know what we were thinking? Ok, henceforth I will stick to myself. I don’t know what was I thinking? I used to loathe girls who were girly (funny haa). I used to hate guys who were MCPs (ok I don’t need to expand this). I don’t know what sex I belonged to, but as I said I didn’t care.
But now slowly things are changing. As if all the female hormones that I didn’t use up during my teenage (or ache) years were all stored up and for that matter probably increased in intensity and just sweep me away in some giant waves. It just makes me wonder, what is really wrong with me? All these years, I used to talk like guys (or atleast try to talk topics that guys like). I always refrained from talking or showing anywhere that I am weak. I still remember the times when I would have got hurt while playing, and the pride in me was so much that I used to bite my tongue not to cry like a girl. All these stunts I used to do just not to look fish out of the pond. Since, all I wanted was friends ..
Now, things seem different. Now even if I try to be less girly, I just cannot help. I just loathe men who talk only about stuffs that they like. And even though my practical / professional mind says that I should participate in these discussions, my mind simply refuses to. Unfortunately, when you live in a world so crowded with men you have to deal with them always. During all this it really makes me wonder, why are we like this? This, so called, breed of professional women. We are in a worst of its kind identity crisis. So confused as to what we want. We couldn’t develop the softness, patience or whatever good qualities that women have nor be as strong as the way men do. We are just caught in between, for that matter getting the bad qualities of both. The aggressive nature, ego that comes naturally being in this part of the professional world with all the emotional swings that women have, feeling so angry and aggressive at times and at the same time feeling weak and vulnerable like a hurt child.
Anyway, in spite of all this, I think given a chance, I would have still liked to be a professional woman, since with it comes a feeling of wholeness, however rare it is. I don’t think I would have changed my life anyway if I would have been given a chance and I am sure that if I have a daughter, I would still bring her up as a PROffesional woman.
Who are we? We are a breed of species that neither belong to the stronger sex called “MEN” or the real feminine or the so called weaker (I despise the word, alas!!) sex called “WOMEN”. We are a totally new evolved species called the Professional women. Now god only knows what kind of species are these.
Well, in my undergrad class of 84 students, we were only 7 girls and you might think that with that kind of minority there must be a pretty good demand for us. No, you are wrong! Apparently, according to my “male” classmates, there were only two types of humans in our class. One was the male species (of course!!) and the others were the “non-males” and no females at all. So that was rude, but it didn’t really matter at that time, since we all were in the same boat that sometimes used to tend to sink academically, and all we cared, at that time, was to keep the boat floating.
Anyways, during all this weird growing up period, I don’t know what we were thinking? Ok, henceforth I will stick to myself. I don’t know what was I thinking? I used to loathe girls who were girly (funny haa). I used to hate guys who were MCPs (ok I don’t need to expand this). I don’t know what sex I belonged to, but as I said I didn’t care.
But now slowly things are changing. As if all the female hormones that I didn’t use up during my teenage (or ache) years were all stored up and for that matter probably increased in intensity and just sweep me away in some giant waves. It just makes me wonder, what is really wrong with me? All these years, I used to talk like guys (or atleast try to talk topics that guys like). I always refrained from talking or showing anywhere that I am weak. I still remember the times when I would have got hurt while playing, and the pride in me was so much that I used to bite my tongue not to cry like a girl. All these stunts I used to do just not to look fish out of the pond. Since, all I wanted was friends ..
Now, things seem different. Now even if I try to be less girly, I just cannot help. I just loathe men who talk only about stuffs that they like. And even though my practical / professional mind says that I should participate in these discussions, my mind simply refuses to. Unfortunately, when you live in a world so crowded with men you have to deal with them always. During all this it really makes me wonder, why are we like this? This, so called, breed of professional women. We are in a worst of its kind identity crisis. So confused as to what we want. We couldn’t develop the softness, patience or whatever good qualities that women have nor be as strong as the way men do. We are just caught in between, for that matter getting the bad qualities of both. The aggressive nature, ego that comes naturally being in this part of the professional world with all the emotional swings that women have, feeling so angry and aggressive at times and at the same time feeling weak and vulnerable like a hurt child.
Anyway, in spite of all this, I think given a chance, I would have still liked to be a professional woman, since with it comes a feeling of wholeness, however rare it is. I don’t think I would have changed my life anyway if I would have been given a chance and I am sure that if I have a daughter, I would still bring her up as a PROffesional woman.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
To all the lonely souls…
The grass is greener on the other side..how correct is this sentence!!! In fact I would say that when the grass on this side is duller the other side grass really seems greener…
But why am I saying all this..i wanted to write something about loneliness…in this world full of gadgets and all kinds of networking avenues are we all still lonely…with so many options available all your friends seem to be just a click away..but why is it that some of us still feel lonely…
I have to be technically correct here..i cannot generalize, I don’t think everyone feels lonely..it is only a few unfortunate souls who really feel lonely…it is like a disease which when you realize that you have acquired, you feel it even more…there are some fortunate souls in this world who have never even heard of this word called “LONELY”..
Anyway it is this feeling that prompted me to write this trivia..loneliness has its own benefits even though it seems as if it is more like a bad feeling..it gives a person to think..think about all the unnecessary things that one need not think about or atleast that is what our epics advise us not to dwell upon..
Now does that too sound like a bad thing..ok let me think about something nice…it is a nice feeling to be lonely sometimes..you feel one with yourself..you suddenly become aware of a new person, a new friend “YOU”..and this friend, my friend, if you befriend will never betray you…you will never ever feel lonely again..coz this friend always has all the time in the world for you..this friend will never get bored with your ruminations however trivial they are..so my friend let us befriend our true self.. for that matter what do we really know about our other friends..we see people, we meet them we talk to them but do we really know them..it even makes me wonder, our feeling that we like someone is by itself an illusion..like the way I said the grass is greener on the other side..probably we are just idealizing the other person..but we cannot idealize ourselves for sure..so lets befriend our souls first…
But why am I saying all this..i wanted to write something about loneliness…in this world full of gadgets and all kinds of networking avenues are we all still lonely…with so many options available all your friends seem to be just a click away..but why is it that some of us still feel lonely…
I have to be technically correct here..i cannot generalize, I don’t think everyone feels lonely..it is only a few unfortunate souls who really feel lonely…it is like a disease which when you realize that you have acquired, you feel it even more…there are some fortunate souls in this world who have never even heard of this word called “LONELY”..
Anyway it is this feeling that prompted me to write this trivia..loneliness has its own benefits even though it seems as if it is more like a bad feeling..it gives a person to think..think about all the unnecessary things that one need not think about or atleast that is what our epics advise us not to dwell upon..
Now does that too sound like a bad thing..ok let me think about something nice…it is a nice feeling to be lonely sometimes..you feel one with yourself..you suddenly become aware of a new person, a new friend “YOU”..and this friend, my friend, if you befriend will never betray you…you will never ever feel lonely again..coz this friend always has all the time in the world for you..this friend will never get bored with your ruminations however trivial they are..so my friend let us befriend our true self.. for that matter what do we really know about our other friends..we see people, we meet them we talk to them but do we really know them..it even makes me wonder, our feeling that we like someone is by itself an illusion..like the way I said the grass is greener on the other side..probably we are just idealizing the other person..but we cannot idealize ourselves for sure..so lets befriend our souls first…
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