My constant association with guys, since I am in a profession, which is at least till now dominated by men, prompted me to write this article. Really, we talk about women emancipation and all that crap but where are we really? Please do not shrug away from this article thinking it is another feminist blog. I just want to speak out what I have been thinking about for the past couple of months or years, for that matter.
Who are we? We are a breed of species that neither belong to the stronger sex called “MEN” or the real feminine or the so called weaker (I despise the word, alas!!) sex called “WOMEN”. We are a totally new evolved species called the Professional women. Now god only knows what kind of species are these.
Well, in my undergrad class of 84 students, we were only 7 girls and you might think that with that kind of minority there must be a pretty good demand for us. No, you are wrong! Apparently, according to my “male” classmates, there were only two types of humans in our class. One was the male species (of course!!) and the others were the “non-males” and no females at all. So that was rude, but it didn’t really matter at that time, since we all were in the same boat that sometimes used to tend to sink academically, and all we cared, at that time, was to keep the boat floating.
Anyways, during all this weird growing up period, I don’t know what we were thinking? Ok, henceforth I will stick to myself. I don’t know what was I thinking? I used to loathe girls who were girly (funny haa). I used to hate guys who were MCPs (ok I don’t need to expand this). I don’t know what sex I belonged to, but as I said I didn’t care.
But now slowly things are changing. As if all the female hormones that I didn’t use up during my teenage (or ache) years were all stored up and for that matter probably increased in intensity and just sweep me away in some giant waves. It just makes me wonder, what is really wrong with me? All these years, I used to talk like guys (or atleast try to talk topics that guys like). I always refrained from talking or showing anywhere that I am weak. I still remember the times when I would have got hurt while playing, and the pride in me was so much that I used to bite my tongue not to cry like a girl. All these stunts I used to do just not to look fish out of the pond. Since, all I wanted was friends ..
Now, things seem different. Now even if I try to be less girly, I just cannot help. I just loathe men who talk only about stuffs that they like. And even though my practical / professional mind says that I should participate in these discussions, my mind simply refuses to. Unfortunately, when you live in a world so crowded with men you have to deal with them always. During all this it really makes me wonder, why are we like this? This, so called, breed of professional women. We are in a worst of its kind identity crisis. So confused as to what we want. We couldn’t develop the softness, patience or whatever good qualities that women have nor be as strong as the way men do. We are just caught in between, for that matter getting the bad qualities of both. The aggressive nature, ego that comes naturally being in this part of the professional world with all the emotional swings that women have, feeling so angry and aggressive at times and at the same time feeling weak and vulnerable like a hurt child.
Anyway, in spite of all this, I think given a chance, I would have still liked to be a professional woman, since with it comes a feeling of wholeness, however rare it is. I don’t think I would have changed my life anyway if I would have been given a chance and I am sure that if I have a daughter, I would still bring her up as a PROffesional woman.
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6 comments:
I too completely agree with you and hate the fact that the women are called weaker sex...Having said that, I try to look at man and woman as not two different persons but as two different approaches. For every situation there can be an approach like a man and another approach like a woman while one approach is more suitable than the other depending on the situation. Man is not meant to dominate over woman and woman is certainly not meant to be weaker or succumb--that's the result of wrong interpretation by the people. If man and woman truly stick to their roles..I think the relationship is meant to be and can be symbiotic.
Very nice thought provoking blog..hope to see more coming.
s..this font color is better
I think the problem comes when you are trying to fit into the stereotypical roles that society assigns us. I grew up a tomboy and have managed to remain one at heart. I llike sports and politics more than I like shopping. Most people say I think like a man. I don't. I think differently than what most expect a woman to think like. I consider that their fault. I mean, if they think that is the repetoire of what women should think, then they are limiting themselves.
You can be a women and different and still have a successful life :)
I couldn't agree more with you on this. More than my own confusion about what I want or who I am, I find my male colleagues more confused because of how I am as a 'Professinal woman'. I am expected to be cool around them taking in everything with ease but at the same time, I am frawned at when I join them in the conversation and express myself openly. I guess the confusion comes more from outside than within us, and when we enounter such situations so frequently, we tend to internalize it. Just a thought...
Like the way you think!
I am just appalled by your thoughts and your manifestation of the male stereotype. Well, not getting into many intricacies the only point I want to get here is that most men in this world are chauvinists. Not speaking on behalf of my male fraternity, it constantly amazes me how we can dominate over the weaker sex and yet aspire a professional working woman as a soul partner
Over the past few years of my growing and maturing I have constantly been bewildered by similar thoughts (for myself).During this time my paths have crossed with many woman; some professional and a few the conventional types. Subsequent to my marriage with a professional woman I have realized to see this disparity of thoughts more clearly.
I have concluded that, a woman who chooses a professional career path will constantly be subjugated by the thoughts of her ‘individualism’. The one who chooses the haven of a successful matrimony will always feel the dominance of her alter ego.
As is evident by the profusion of comments, I agree that the clash between a male stereotype husband and a professional wife can only be dealt differently for each composite couple.
Animesh
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